This Sunday, you may want to think twice before you turn to the woman next to you and try to explain something as simple as a first down, or something as detailed as the failed Chip Kelly experiment. Some of us girls are just as entwined in this unpredictable Eagles season as our male counterparts. Others are Eagles widows, spending their Sunday afternoons at Nordstrom. For many of us, though, the five scenarios that follow should sound all too familiar.Scenario 1In her skinny jeans, Frye boots and Mitchell & Ness V-neck, Marie joins her #birdgang at a local establishment with a decent house chardonnay and at least a half-dozen flatbread options. Marie focuses on the game until the half, when she gets wrapped up in checking her Instagram, which carries over well into the third quarter. Even when distracted, Marie can recite the Eagles fight song with the best of ’em.Scenario 2At Donna’s house, Eagles football means a full house. The consummate host is known for a Super Bowl-worthy pregame spread that inevitably involves meatball sliders with sharp provolone, buffalo-chicken dip, and various creations with green fondant. Donna’s home is your home—just don’t sit on her lucky chair or divert her attention with serious conversation. Scenario 3Marie: “I wasn’t super into football until I started seeing Phil. I’m so happy I can share something he’s so passionate about.” Donna: “Nothing is more of a turn-on than an Eagles win. If they score, Steve scores.”Scenario 4For her trip to the Linc, Donna breaks out Dad’s Reggie White jersey and pockets Uncle Lou’s brass knuckles, just in case. Without the distraction of serving party guests, she’s free to work herself into a full lather every third down.Scenario 5Marie: “Carson’s a cutie. He kinda looks like Prince Harry.”Donna: “It’s all about the wins.” Katie Bambi-Kohler and her husband once spent a sordid Saturday night analyzing Andy Reid drafts.
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Illustration by Michele Melcher |
