While these singletons have different dating experiences, they have one thing in common: They got in the game. No one was going to knock on their doors. There wasn’t going to be a “meet cute,” nor would a friend introduce them to an eligible bachelor or bachelorette. They had to redraw their social circles and go where the fish were.
Dating is like sales, says Beth Samberg. Cold calls are part of the process, but there’s a lot to gain and only a little to lose. She had a long-term relationship that originated on Tinder, and while it didn’t last, she says it was a great experience. Just recently, she had a positive first date: “I met him at 3 p.m. for drinks, and by 5:15 we were having dinner. I’m seeing him again next week.”
Dr. Dolores Roman found love on Match. After first dates with too many zeroes, Roman expanded her age criteria. Soon after, she met a man 10 years her senior. On their first date, they met for drinks and ended up talking for six hours. They’ve been together for two-and-a-half years. “One small edit on Match, and I met a fabulous guy,” she says.
Alice also changed her filters on Match. She broadened everything—income, religion, race, age, geography—except education. She went on to meet a man a year older than her who lives 15 minutes from her home. They’ve been together for a year, and the relationship is so solid that she’s back in her Main Line social circle. More importantly, she’s happy. “Life is short, and I’m having fun,” Alice says.
Samantha has had several brief and long-term relationships, and she continues to date, as do Kyle and Matthew. While insisting that they’re having fun, all three admit to occasional loneliness, particularly when their children are with their exes. The men do miss being part of a family unit, but they also remember the discord. Both are successfully co-parenting and want only the best for their exes—even if they find it with other men.
On this night, though, Kyle and Matthew are both headed out on Tinder dates—and anything can happen.