Love-Life Fails

Alice had high hopes for her first date with a local journalist. When they met for a drink, however, he subjected her to an interview—a bad and lengthy one. He didn’t even offer to buy her dinner, but Alice didn’t mind She was ready to leave.

“The next morning, I got a seven-paragraph email suggesting that, ‘on a cold winter’s night,’ we should ‘make out like seventh-graders.’ It was a very long, overwritten suggestion for a booty call.”

Then there was the man who, after their third date, called Alice and handed over the phone—to a state trooper. Too drunk to drive, the man was being held at the processing center inside Valley Forge Casino. Alice had more than one drink in her, so she called one of her divorced girlfriends, waking her up in the middle of the night. “She drove me there, and I bailed him out,” Alice says. “And that was the end of that.”

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Matthew and Kyle have their own tales of women who used their daughters’ photos for profile pictures and spent first dates delivering harangues about ex-husbands. Kyle once went to a woman’s house for a rendezvous, only to find her not-yet ex-husband watching TV in the family room. “They were separated, but he hadn’t moved out of the house—and the kids were sleeping in their bedrooms,” Kyle says. “The guy was not shocked, so I guess they had an agreement. But I was not OK with the situation.”

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