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An Open Letter From Your School Superintendent

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Parents:

I am officially announcing my immediate resignation as your school superintendent. My years as an educator have held countless blessings for me, memories I will long cherish. The budget battles, the redistricting process, the school board meetings, the state testing discussions. But I regret that I can no longer serve as your chief meteorologist. Simply put, declaring a snow day—or not declaring one—has become too much.

I have Bill Henley and Cecily Tynan on speed-dial. I study the Farmers’ Almanac. I wake up at 3 a.m. nightly December-March and stand in the driveway in my pajamas, looking up at the sky. Our custodians do the same. We stick our tongues out in the dark and await a landing snowflake. If one does, we immediately call each other and flip a coin. Heads, school’s off. Tails, school’s on.

At which point I trudge back into my warm house and quickly compose a clever snow-day poem or song in the hope that it might quell the inevitable parental storm that has been building for days.

It’s a no-win situation. While some of you won’t let your kids ride an armored tank to school in flurries, others teach your young ones to hitch a ride on the bumper of a passing car on an icy street. Some of you will have to call out of work to stay home with the kids, perhaps losing a day’s pay. Others will want to uncork the wine bottle opened the night before in anticipation of a day
of sledding, snowmen and getting sloshed.

Meanwhile, by the time my head has hit the pillow for the second or third time that night, the avalanche of texts, emails, tweets and Facebook posts has begun. Truth be told, I’ve seen more common courtesy (and common sense) on President Trump’s Twitter page.

That in mind, I am happy to report that the school board has accepted my resignation, effective immediately. A search committee has been formed to find your next superintendent. Rumor has it Adam Joseph is on the short-list.

West Chester’s Michael T. Dolan has never had any desire to be a school superintendent. Read more at www.michaeltdolan.com

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