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A Twittering New Year’s Resolution

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Illustration by Dewey SaundersJan. 1, 9:45 a.m. Hello there, world. Made New Year’s resolution to work on my relationships with people. So here’s to a new year, a fresh start and friends!

Jan. 1, 11:45 p.m. Making progress already. Found old classmates today on Facebook and friended each of them. Great to be back in touch with the bullies of my youth.

Jan. 3, 2:02 a.m. Passed the 100 friend mark on Facebook tonight!! No. 100 was my frosh-hop date. Can’t believe that was almost 20 years ago. LOL!!

Jan. 4, 12:02 p.m. Getting the hang of this Twittering thing—definitely will help me with my resolution. If only I could get some followers. Is anyone out there?

Jan. 5, 8:32 p.m. Day 5 of my resolution and continuing to make progress on the friends front. Still no followers on Twitter yet. Need to work on my tweets. 🙂

Jan. 10, 3:02 p.m. A very successful week! Now have 500 FB friends! Eyes are watering from so much screen time, but it’s worth it. Ya get what ya put in.

Jan. 11, 1:18 a.m. Disappointing day. Not a single new friend. Getting distracted by all the FB apps; too much time spent on FarmVille and Mafia Wars. 🙁

Jan. 12, 9:05 a.m. This New Year’s resolution is proving to be a lot of hard work. Who knew?! LOL!

Jan. 12, 10:06 a.m. Fired today. Boss said my productivity had made a steep decline since the start of the New Year. Looking for a new job. Any leads out there?

Jan. 13, 8:09 a.m. With the job search going on, I joined the LinkedIn crowd to find some leads. Gotta go—connections to be made.

Jan. 13, 9:28 a.m. Friended my old boss today as part of my resolution to work on relationships. Let bygones be bygones.

Jan. 13, 11:17 p.m. Long day of networking online. With all my connections, though, something’s gotta give. Right?

Jan. 14, 2:22 p.m. Still no leads, but my number of FB friends is really taking off. Approaching 1,000! Impossible to keep up with all the status updates!!

Jan. 15, 10:53 a.m. Depressed today. Been true to my resolution to work on relationships this year, but still no Twitter followers. Is there anybody out there??

Jan. 15, 3:20 p.m. “How well do you know Michael Dolan? Take this quiz and see how well you do.”

Jan. 17, 9:19 p.m. Two days, and only two friends took the quiz. Both got a miserable 7 percent of the answers correct.

Jan. 18, 7:05 a.m. This resolution is starting to feel like a diet. I stick to it, but I’m just not seeing results. No one is following these tweets. 🙁

Jan. 19, 8:45 p.m. Couldn’t keep my resolution and closed my FB account.

Jan. 20, 2:02 a.m. Back on FB. Missed my friends and reactivated my account.

Jan. 21, 4:32 p.m. Made friend No. 1,000 tonight. He used to live down the street, but moved away when he was 3.

Jan. 25, 2:17 p.m. Beginning to lose some enthusiasm for this resolution thing again. Next year’s resolution: Make more time for me.

Jan. 27, 5:15 p.m. Someone just became a follower of my tweets!!

Jan. 27, 5:16 p.m. They tweeted me back! Worth posting: “Son: Haven’t seen you much lately. Come downstairs—dinner’s getting cold. Mom.”

West Chester-based writer Michael T. Dolan is a frequent MLT contributor. You can find him at facebook.com/michaeltdolan.

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